The Mruhabin Essay on Wetness

(this essay was originally published in the Parg Hassuck Papers, Volume 12, Edition 15. It was written by Palbahu Mruhabin of 45 Yelorbit Point, New Kervurulum, Baranessia, and may be distributed without regard to ontology -- it may be distributed to any and all interimaginaries)

Wetness is desirable, but what is wetness? Boiling water, for instance, is not wet. Nor is freezing water. Nor are fish wet while they are in the sea. Water that is too hot or too cold is not wet. Allusions to wetness exist in various citrus scents, and in mints occasionally, and in other scents. It is a quality which various coruscations of non-water soluble scents may carry, but only in the right quantities. Organic things are more wet than inorganic things. Ozone alludes to wetness, perhaps more than geosmin as it ramifies into petrichor. Certain phonemes are wetter than others, for instance the 'L' phoneme is arguably wetter than the 'W' phoneme. A scuttled ship on the floor of the sea is not wet, continuing to riff on the concept that wetness is involved in the transition from the immersion in water. A post in water, perhaps part of a pier that is continually on the border between the air and the water is waterlogged, but wetness is about the perception of water, and there is a certain dryness involved in not fully being able to make the transition.
Wetness is about change, solubility, transfiguration between one thing and another: stalled change does not change make. Mist is wetter than steam. Wetness warbles. It is Perehune Amalgastaro's contention that the essence of the concept of the water elemental is not the physical act of wetting nor is it oceanic continua of water, but the abstract sensory qualia of wetness that is distributed amongst a wide variety of experiences.

For instance, some sounds are wetter than others, and some are drier. The mind is hungry for wet sounds and wet experiences as dessication and calcification are the harbingers of extinction. Dendrous trees are wetter than collections of sticklike trees. Red is not a very wet color, though combinations of green and orange can be wet. Wet light is more appealing than dry light: the distinction transcends the warm/cool color distinction. Wet light has a greater ultraviolet component in it. Wetness is about effervescence, fluorescence, fluidity. Phosphorescence by itself is rather dry. Chemiluminescence may be wet under certain circumstances. Wetness is a quality that transcends water.