Tuesday, December 26, 2006

theraktys if then statement roguesponges

What did Marty Pringlestoinge say?

"Yarsfooth anna porengo! Bloongsblons-upon-Wtfologists? Hallongo O'Sfirika plyspfragh anthome annapanga d'liscinge etiaflasce jerrenx u'lorzano dolouk nelonzosse. Dranspruns allarza inszchians: arrambhei qe nhomeo addiaprenzis alossoflone o'neischzomeir dedroxe anyschgeo adamproen bischnonkeum drynzemfarehejn a'zazeue bifrioem. Alikzillim mhonhome zelzerris arrhymbe
aisonohero i'ue avazise anunculi oranhazilis i'anhe barzunculeo ganzet asperythem jeuzis enhem avrella na'aisue. Lynjem balaborano neischgjer pangue emheng ouvreisp i'brehve. Alhoenge hevroun dolpinkaro anheunge ascifthousis urrin ghen. Dxefjthe colam uezue drindroparo heuravve."

Sunday, December 10, 2006

in Belgium...

Despite being a class IIIb/4 democracy and a bastion of freedom, various and sundry things are illegal in Belgium: toast, tensors, geometric algebra, isothiocyanates, swiss cheese, british cheese, wombats, nine dimensional bondage cages, semantics, cows, lemons, the LXN hallucinogen, rubik's cubes, fractals, sieves, antagonists, syllogisms, cartesian closed categories, lambda calculus, lisp, microsoft word, apple computers, salt, cantilevers, astrolabes, astrology, astronomy, orreries, planetaria, the common cold, multiples of sqrt(pi), amanuensis, horticulture, grapefruit, LASIK, caffeinated watermelons, japanese manufactured GPS recievers, homological algebra, nethack, self referential laws, centigrade, Look Around You, Dr. Seuss, protons, bikinis, high gain antenna rigs, debate, abridged dictionaries, stubble, plastic writing utensils, and onwards.

The following items have recently been legalized in Belgium: Arthur Dent, gravitons, Calabi-Yau manifolds, agar gel for petri dishes, John Horton Conway's game of life, algorithm optimization, bralessness, Bill Murray movies, A Wrinkle in Time, anti-censorship laws, formal power series, Foxtrot, crossword puzzles, ambiguity, pleonasm, video games, galagos, breeches, ceramics, nightmares, gerbils, cryptic commentary, dvds, paper, liquid crystals, problem sets, plot development, vitamin b-12, yttrium, having fun while being attacked by psychotic penguins, limes, indian food, and walnuts.

For more breaking developments on the absurd country of Belgium, read Tvongden press's Notices on Belgium Legality.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Stifled lemon strife

Rondeaux antebellum merengue seminal lassitude droll lemons snub benthic menhirs squarely in the maw ah lessees and dratted weasel demigods same arterioles sandcastles alas salsa massages meretricious managers muddle and mottle thinly yessir rambunctiousnesslessly misappropriating the green alien crystal vapor wedges for her own person to abuse. Natural laminar flows impede the stalk of the Toblerone God. Anthers and stamens and the Sex Pistils oh my! Mary mapped all the drumlins in Alaska at the command of the Mad Dromedary. Quotidienne Laura says to me that in the least timorous declaration of love she recieved from a smitten tho entirely unattractive bachelor, the suitor splayed his arms in the skull of a goose. Talay oh Mandalay!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

copper plated dirigible machines

plesiosaurs simmer upon the nigh night drenched crater strewn scar-pitted landscape: awaiting thy ducks? It's a masterful miseloquencies: glue the guide's nostrils to the ackle-bird. Amung! Amung! Cry not the Insult Periscope for mayhaps only a massage let to gone and awaiting a dross reply. Oh pleugh! Oh plague carrying vesicles of ambiguity!

thundering pack animals storm Toronto

"...but the high-faluting esoteric philosophical stuff is just the springboard of false messiahs and preachers. You just can't get coherent information from our current perspective, and what's even more damning is the prevarications of these so-called mystical dilettantes who cream themselves on the tales of the impossible. I can't talk about anyone else's experiences: I'd much prefer to be small and fervently dull but all of this assorted material just turns up on my doorstop and much as I'd like to just remain in my little hovel I have to deal with it: and I've already got a full plate of issues of my own to cope with or to pretend to cope with. Now, for a moment, just setting aside my own psychological disorientation for one damn moment: there all these johnny and jane-come-latelies just proudly claiming some kind of metaphysical superiority when A. it's not clear how the culture wars are going to progress, B. nobody really wants to get stuck in the crossfire, C. anyone not making major philosophical or quasi-philosophical mazes for themselves and just doing interesting things is stuck explaining their mental objects to fashion-oriented brain dead rockstars, and D. the most interesting things are lost in a primate authority hierarchy maze of damning exotic states of mind..."

"...but every doomsday cult since the beginning of timekeeping has announced some kind of day in which everything changes in cataclysmic and apocalyptic magnitudes: an end of the world, an end of time and so on and so forth. None of their predictions came true, and their principal product was many disillusioned believers. So sell me on the singularity or sell me on science: I'm going to cautiously say that 'things, they aren't going to change', until I see it..."

"Regrettably it's a thorny puzzle. Nobody can extract any kind of information from the completely unstructured without filtering their recovery through their perspective. Then they'll try to sell you something. If you buy it, then you'll sell it to someone else. This is how religions get started. Ranting, raving people usually have this one important point which completely eludes the comprehension of rational people, and by the point that said ranting and raving people have been suitably classified and the ordinary world protected from exposure to them, the effects of that one thing which has caught their attention become scraggles on pieces of paper, and those who could actually elicit some kind of proper and holistic interpretation of their experience are usually in wide separation from those who have such experiences. It seems to me that you can't have your cake and eat it too. I don't know: I may herald from a too-depressing viewpoint"