Tuesday, June 28, 2011

all's swell that bends fell

Tartuthekely, half an arborescence trifurcatory athwail Krylb and trunsey of Gorragare: the breeding ground for Psenheetches and home to small gangs of outcast Yitteraries, each of them bearing the brunt of a parasitic philosopher occupying major portions of their secondary brains: the parasitic philosopher is a concept that evolved from the primitive meme mines of the Yitteraries Third Network Age, like the lolspoons, the silly Pin the Monkey game that nearly wiped out two generations of intellectual accomplishment amongst the Yitterary, bastackling your noon*.  The parasitic philosopher could be removed, but only by spending a couple of durations in Tartuthekely, where the ethereal zephyrs could wash such infectious mimetic agents from one's mind through sufficent exposure. Most of these Yitterary were outcasts because the Third Network age had ended and they could get appropriate exposure to conceptual prophylactics, so they arboresced from the Yitterfield to Tartuthekely where they could bask in the iatrous flow of the ethereal zephyrs.

But most of the groups weren't having luck: since the Third Network was down, they could not go to the Hypercyclopedia and check that the major subspecies of ethereal zephyr was in the portion of its migratory cycle where it had arboresced to Clonthoyl, and wouldn't be back for another three durations, too long for them to stay there without becoming field people or gettergaws, both of which risks they knew about but no one, even in their wrong mind, would take. So after a couple of weeks, they dejectedly ended up arborescing to one of the Interstitial Depot Plazas lining the inner membrane of this nightmare and spent a lot of time dozing and reading the popular Captain Hypoplasia comic that the Inubrium corporation has been seeding at various rest-stops and waystations. Fortunately, (and this, I think is somewhat still a secret), the Captain Hypoplasia comic is a memetic agent specifically designed to eradicate the parasitic philosopher.

* (a hard to explain social phenomenon that involved geotagging one's spleen and having a live feed of the metabolic status of one's spleen microblogged to a gaming site where one was rewarded points based on certain metabolic configurations, and then eating some franch fruit to lower one's serum colchuamine below detectable levels: players would find ways of sneaking in franch fruit into someone else's meal, and this practice was called "bastackling your noon", and was popular for about thirty thousand hours on the main trunk of the Yitterary Third Network)

Monday, June 20, 2011

oh yuk

Stacktharn Groxitromiles of the Crayaster Perementhrium is not the most fombent of micthurists, plenny and dorodgely, he skeppers and mondylls the plogsires by the wallafronds, skepsing and preusingly oroptifying the calseps of the Grotteries that line the Grand Artundian River, separating the Chulfrum of Gransique from the Orrhengarybs of Jwaljerom. Ol Groxy's such a mustardface, skeppering and oroptifying this and that. What a frongillaryp! I bet his spoon is understudied and that his binary compliance directories are not in working order. Staggeringly blermosian? Probably. I mean, look at the Groxy insulted the Feldershaj of Gransique, throwing a one third baked fubbing tin at her while the stonkylphores of the nerbitsc plobbered on! What a scandal.. the next day all the data papers on the local ultranet were hoovering in cacophanation about the fubbing tin, featuring lurid composites of the fub grease and garish shots of the Feldershaj looking greatly irritated, cleaning fub grease off her face with a paper monkey! If the Feldershaj weren't campaigning for the amelioration of the hyperwharves then it might be so forgiveable, but she's going to have a hard time convincing the stetterworts and mindwrights of the dockyards that she didn't deserve to have a fubbing tin lobbed at her after she unilaterally fonkled the Yaunjest of Thrombilary in their televised interview with a carrot triangle and a broken pungle spoon, though in all fairness, Groxy has been behaving a bit oddly lately, and most speculators and gossip-slungers think that he didn't come back from the Hutch quite right -- there are rumors that Phelbart Oggins saw Groxy perform the Ritual of the Attenuated Celery Fragrance west of Siders' Cairn with a licensed Progfrobe.

the candidacy

In the Star-District of Krayanderthere, there are four political parties, all running for the Candidacy: this is not so much an election for a particular office so much as the style of governance. The parties are: the Thransilists, the Dradgepheurs of Gozylius, the Ethereals, and the Araphageum. Here are their platforms for the Candidacy:

The Thransilists (e.g. Crost Fronthemium, Hardcone Dtholdinem, Meteha Juraragoepe, Traktebe Bilithurum, and others) believe in rigidly structured government hierarchies with multiply distributed multipartite authority segregations and unambiguously machine parseable rule sets written for and organized by machines. They basically oppose humans being governed by other humans, because the temptations of self-interest, they believe, always corrupt people in power, and that, in consequence that it is impossible for human governments to stay focused on maximizing human happiness and contentment without drugging the masses.

the Dradgepheurs of Gozylius (e.g. Ordge Blosoons, Trinsellia Cardupon, Ververaryb Vostashire, Linsely Eratow, Iuli Rarefacta) believe that the correct form of government is infinitely corrupt: because rulesets cause the abandoning of reason and the deferment to the deontic drag, they think that government by the bribery syndicate is more effective than anything else.

The Ethereals (whose major eigenpersonality is the hyperego of Ransphondrea Urunbe Yikrejur) are as anyone sensate can make out, not so much a party as a collection of half-dreams that has been seething and roiling in the collective unconsciousness for a while, so long in fact, that it's taken on a life of its own, and because the collective unconsciousness is of sufficient largeness and grandeur, a tiny blur of it has achieved consciousness, and is multifurcating now.

The Araphageum (mostly Gonset Arruncalon, Povobe Balaheju, Tarsiste Runzugue, and Rhenthipgeus Apparungaryb) has stated in its promotional literature that it is about "A Return to New-Fangled Values" and "Low-Phaluting Uncommonweals" and "Blowing Everything out of All Proportion", and a variety of other buzzphrases that appear not to have any sort of coherence to them, though they have also stated that they found the platform that the Abject Nonsense party rather distasteful but have been effusive as to the reason for their distaste.

Friday, June 17, 2011

dwellers of the moonlight.

The spongyll is a two dimensional, bosonic lifeform which feeds on neutrinos and can only exist in moonlight: at day it is too hot, and the artificial light of the anthroponemous settlements on La Arth is too harsh and of the wrong spectral character. They are close to transparent. Being of a bosonic nature, two spongylls may exist in the same space at the same time. At their smallest, each spongyll is about a square meter, though they can range in size from a square kilometer by attenuating their material. There is a degree of danger of being so attenuated, though: sudden light from thunderstorms or meteors or perhaps anthroponemic activity may kill an attenuated spongyll. For reasons that are inexplicable to the current crop of anthroponeme biologists, spongylls prefer cool air near areas of dense vegetation, and cloudless skies.

At day, or when the environment is not correct for them, they sporulate, forming neutrino sized spores which have a tendency to stick to the centromeres of treebark dwelling crustose lichens. In some places, though, where there are vast caverns or other dark spaces of appropriate humidity and flora, spongylls will overday and sleep: since these places are few in number (spongylls detest bat caves, and do generally sporulate if there's a batcave around), the population of spongylls that sleep rather than sporulate is rather small. 

The method of reproduction of spongylls is rather peculiar: rather than classical binary fission or sex, the spongylls reproduce by interference, as two spongylls can inhabit the same space at the same time: they set up a number of spongyll-eigenstates in the surrounding false-vacuum, and at the end of the reproduction cycle, either 3 or 7 spongylls are constructively interfered from the two original spongylls, which have now been resurrected as state-vectors amongst the new spongylls. It should be said that in this way, the spongyll represents a sort of state of miscible life: rather than the pure death, the spongyll population is a kind of way-station for spongylls from here to their. 

If the conditions are just right, and you know the right syllables (something like "na khra gad taw pru bo"), and the moonlight is streaming down, and you see a spongyll, hold your hand out and say that phrase. The spongyll will stretch square and center itself with your hand.