Saturday, June 22, 2013

mystic research programme funding semantics as a function of deliverables

Lavanguli bit off some moest bread from the loaf. "Arniul, they're going to withdraw funding from this mystical research programme of yours next month" Arniul looked at Lavanguli: "But we've..." he began, but Lavanguli interrupted: "I know what you're going to say, that this is a vital programme of research, but sooner or later you've got to face the fact that most of the copycat programmes -- the one at the University of New Riboflavin, and the École Arc en Ciel Polychromatique, and the Stralvanzaroa Institute of New Lepidopterana Province are far better than you at the whole design-conception-implementation-deliverables cycle." Arniul looked downtrodden. "I've put all my efforts into this research programme. And with great reluctance I will concede your point. In the past five years we've only come up with three groundbreaking concepts. UNR produced forty in the same time. EACP? Two hundred. And I don't want to talk about SINL. SINL makes me want to hide in a candied bread bun and count my sorrows until the pulsars stop pulsing and the snails stop snailing. What will I do? Where will I go?" Lavanguli sipped some of her tea. "Have you talked to Assuadmai Ertalagaster at SINL?" Arniul: "Ertie? Ertie's at SINL?!" (obviously boggled). "I haven't talked to Ertie since he went to Moetengstro some fifteen years ago. How did Ertie make it to SINL? Last I knew his speciality was Late Period Seventh Dynasty Uswarl Pottery." Lavanguli: "At the end of the Seventh Dynasty the Uswarl Sage-Maniac Araf Spa-Pungnoya had the same idea about reliably mining the concept-streams of the ineffable. Spa-Pungnoya's followers would inscribe Uswarl glyph sequences onto chob-clay pots in the early dawns of rainy days. Couldn't do a damn thing about the Defenestration of Blund or the Malfeasance of the Endives, and Spa-Pungnoyan School was viciously diasporized by Regent Strelth-Couraunzm of the Eighth Dynasty of the Uswarl. Ertie stumbled upon this quite independently of your research programme. He was also already associated with SINL's parent institution, the Hechsquisse Center of New Lepidopterana. I think he only vaguely knows of your involvment, but I don't think that the circumstances have been quite right for you two to get back in touch." Arniul, visibly enthralled: "well,..."