unexpected consequences of time travel, no. 3102: the births page.

Auk-110, The month of Cressuary, the year of our Gourarud Shading 192,221C

New Strottafoyle Gabberbrain: Births Page (Section A, page 15-17)

Today the following people will be born:

Tahalxinake Taratvonnib Mahahualxu 192,221C-192,442B
Daughter of Cahalxun Voratminnib Mahahualxu and
Thalkinaske Manakannab Mahahualxu (nee Ztuyinxulxu).

Tahalxinake will write the books Thaud, Upper Highland Prozbenzics, will edit the New Phoaob Courier for 13 years, be the first person to climb Mount Attanteho in the Barvmulgruagu Prefecture, will invent a the first trettling gullip rated in the EHz range. She will be remembered for her lifelong battle with a variety of nearly undiagnosable and asymptomatic skin diseases, and her indomitable courage in dealing with the backlash of the Orteustry Debacle.

Stattabaker Carbassong Tuhungpe Markarakansai 192,221C-192,248C
Son of Vahalasmer Turkursmuk Tuhungpe Markarakansai and
Bettalamie Shalganauk Vospungbenabe Markarakansai (nee Reuxgers)

Stattabaker will be a short lived, generally despicable sort of person. He'll get into Dozouk and palagiss running on the Henoy frontier. He doesn't live roundly enough to make it into the B stratum, and will end up dying as a result of a kalvpok attack in the Brastil Wilterlands. He will be somewhat notable for daughter, for he will be  the father of Halmangra Surgultanab Mahangpe Keskiriadu, the famous arzauggist and author of the Plonsive Manifesto.

Uchietu Dzulgthe 192,221C-192,891R
Daughter of Ahassiete Dzulgthe and
Guriendi Dzulgthe (nee Tzolgthuetu)

Uchietu will, in fourty years time, be the author of a surprising mathematical theory, one which will revolutionize the field of postsymbolic transcomputation. History will record that it is called "pansynthechroid decomposition". She will attain the degree of Xa.Q. at the University of New Oxuld in 23 years time. She will marry Asfayadme Sappeangules, but theirs is not a happy partnership, owing to the massive intellectual disputes which will break out in 50 years time about cossigue functors, one of the technical devices that will be used in the pansynthechroid decomposition. (Amusingly, in 193,384X, her distant descendant, Urhietu Paveangalib will show that the relationship ending disagreement about cossigue functors will probably be excusable on both Uchietu and Asfayadme's parts owing to the slippery and bizarrely deceptive nature of the pansynthechroid construction as will be exposited by Marmuller and Yorasht in the Zohines Seminaire, 193,241S, which will have wouldn't been* unavailable to Uchietu and Asfayadme)

* [technically this is the "future unjunctoid intersal qualtive tense", see Dan Streetmentioner]