letter to the editor

And then? And nothing! Look, at this: (points to *this*). Look, at that: (points at *that*). Therefore and logically p implies q. An arrow of implication? Why, in all my years serving tarts and muffins at the dockyards I have never seen such ludicrous misapplication of rope tying techniques employed to protect ducklings from wildebeests. Therefore and heretounder, be it resolved, that we, the oversigned, being of sound mind and untenably unsound body, do duly sign this writ, and deposit in a bottle, thrown either overboard or used to christen the boat, or perhaps even used as firelighters, for the purpose of being foursquare and prudent, for the nonprolonged fork prong, that we do commit our resources to the evanescent fulminations of out own Oedipauses, because dammit, McVerzlens, we have a palladium tonnage-engine and a bottle of the finest Munk and Yorky (vsop) to prepend our van valladges, our arrogances, our pirouettist, and our various skin diseases, because we wish to belabor our own confusions into this statement, which we have printed on parchment and submitted in triplicate to the editors of the Arplemont Clarion, because we believed our cause to be just, and the permitted avenues of redress were stultifyingly unsatisfying, and not knowing where to proceed or precess, we thus compiled our frothy frosted frustrations and exalted, exsanguinous, exasperations into this epistle and then, using what was ordinarily conventional xerox technology, trivided it (or triplicated), and then, using postal technology, fired it off. Whether or not our protest shall be registered or tossed in a dustbin remains to be seen.