Ryssoetist Prime

Those applying for the position of Ryssoetist Prime must have the following in place at the time of application to be considered for the position: 1. A 7.51 nanobyte essay describing their qualifications for the position. 2. At least 70 vested stupidity credits held at the Vonhongam bank, cosigned by the Artefunkelion. 3. A degree of Zr. or Lh.D. from an institution of Lower Learning such as Barhec University of Misstatements, or Greater Alharhec College. Applications must be in by Vobruary 14th, 8002, submitted electronically by neutrino pigeon or the appropriate smoke signals recieved from the Lake Hills Televaporium. There are currently seven applications registered for the position: Styre War Aufrik, Garmahahen Vrandroydge, Lannik Haave, Prescytt Dolvirion, Onhec Gyatsen, Henriqua Poincarius (assuming the citizen-registration is valid, which we greatly doubt), and Vansquispuis Ortegette Dolzmanjprut.