vague dreams are tremendously important to me.

maybe two bursts of serotonin (and other tryptamines) at night: one at the beginning when exploding head syndrome and k-complexes and sleep spindles happen, and one at the end of dreams as the acetylcholine mediated deep-dream closes. the trippiest dreams which end in the predictable distortion and the melting of the hands accompanied by a weary exhaustion: but the mechanics of such dreams are relatively harmless to me: it might be highly weird, but it's also highly convention: no, what gets me is those distant dreams of high vagary which always have me holding on to some memory that trails off into the seas of wakeful forgetfulness: the dreams that I only barely remember having in which something happens that I keep telling myself I have to remember this, or I know this, or this is something so familiar or some continuing thread, but it all vanishes into the vapor of wakefulness as other concerns of daily existence overwhelm my mind. these dreams bother me more: it's as if there's something I have to desparately try to remember but it gets blotted out. A name. A face. Someone I know. Someone I knew. Someone I've always known: the waking mind never can get itself together for me to coherently discuss what goes on in these deep and peculiar dreams. And my consciousness has nothing except the poor motes to go on and I can never ever recall these during wakefulness. I remembered enough of one to remember that I had to write about them. Someone named Jane? Or was it Kate? Or was I chatting online? Or was I in a lecture hall? The highly weird dreams of later night which are usually richer take second banana to these vague ones, these vague ones seem tremendously more important. I have the feeling that these dreams somehow form a continuous thread, and that memories from one enter into another: but I don't and can't hold on to them. I don't know why. It just seemed important to document this now.