alternate time measurement practices

I think the time here is measured in less than rational units -- the damn Ulstlings that run Marasoonga don't believe in either nahambes, nanoseconds, or kalpas. They think that Planck times were invented by Tarazanoff Eigenfrost as a way of believing in turnips. They are fond of the xoxongulus, the freemingkrept. the half-nossling, the ranfid-doornail, and the zoonch, and their clocks are marked as such. But what, pray tell, is a zoonch? They do not say, and when pressed for details of their timekeeping system, they wail something to the effect that "Bleemengasts do not accrue at the falling of the snowflake, neither the mass ministers nor the Lombard dinques make an arrestingly transparent declaration of freedom: do you demand that we measure ourselves so dully, in arcs and lines and other mismarinated insults to the Butterfly Queen! It is the deontic precipice that we must endure every time you deny us our heredity with your archaic and misguided (and, more to the point, wholly inaccurate measurements of time..." and so on until the listener's ears rot from the litanies and the castigations until they realize that there's no convincing a dude that believes that time is best measured by the seasonal fluctuation of the diffraction of neutrinos by the ears of mice!