abridged mensuration for the lemon monster: a retrospective

The mention of the Gregarious Kinetic Festival often leaves the tourists in a state of complete bewilderment: after all they've just travelled well over eighty megaparsecs to see a strange man in a billowing gaberdine with fluorescent galligaskins denounce the proton as blasphemous and heretical all while chewing on sleepy tea leaves and spiralling out of control in his chaotic and untranslatable monologue about other supposedly obscene elementary particles. For this man is the Pauper of Reason, a profession of which there are few practitioners: his job, which Prelveng State pays him handsomely for, is to spout the most nonsensical and incomprehensible garbage possible, for a number of what are very important but (or so I am told), enormously inscrutable reasons. The Festival also features a variety of other incomprehensible activities by what are otherwise seemingly normal entities, which keep the attention of easily entertained tourists handily